Some hypothesis

Well first my brother came out looking like me and now he is into time travelling just like i was. I really think he is my clone made by a friendly alien and he wants to take over the world! The only major difference is that he hates music. Emphasize "hate"!

Well then, thats enough to freak me out. And then he likes cycling and learnt it on his own out despite parents discouraging. This is bad. Perhaps the genes are really similar.

Well, nevertheless, then, even though... I realised a fact that the use of fanciful words are sometimes a way to cover the fact that i know very little but i am trying to say a lot from the little i know so that i seem to know alot. Well i hate that. If i know little i say little tats it.

And of course the 2 projects that i put on hold has resumed. The dream project is still on hold because personally i do not want to hold back my creativity. Some times.. all the time, dreams tell a wonderful story that i wake up and think to myself, "Whoo... I wish everyone can see what i just saw..."

Then the 2nd project of ambidexterity. Born with it? Or become a ambidexterous monster by mere daily activities?

I am a practical person who likes to test out hypothesis personally. Being really inferior compared to a real researcher who deals with brain activities mainly of the corpus or the motor and the critical thinking regions of the brain. However inferior, i guess i just want to find an answer to my question. :)

I am so glad i am a drummer which means whatever ambidexterous activity i practice is going to nail down my chops like "BaM!!" Nail down!

So here it goes as the project has been on hold for 1 year. I think the last post.. i can't remember... i was copying a few poems by unknown authors.. right on this blog.. i put a few pictures of my handwriting. And after which i do not know what's wrong, i did experience insomia where i see colours which can't make me fall asleep. And following that a period of depression which led me to where i am today. I can say. Could not be totally true.

When i started out with this programme again.. which is just writing, brusing, eating, drumming like a lefty, the effects seems to come back.

Depression led on by a series of insomnia. And i can say a few series of hyperactivity of the brain warining me that someone is trying to kill me. I would call Mania.

I think it is not easy to be me and i am slowly turning less sane still with an idea of a creator which i say is pathetic and i need to build that relationship before it breaks. Terrible of me.

Well, then i travelled back to a 5-6 years old me. And drew a few pictures of fishes and skating. I know that i have long forgotten how it would feel to want to grow up and not looking back and see how i wanted to stay there. Well, i am here now i would stay.

And perhaps a little hint of my deteriorating or deteriorating or detrioretating?? language skill which could be a lack of exposure or maybe a chemical change up there where i can't think without drifting like the "flashbacks" you get when you know you are going to die. Near death i think.

All these got nothing to do with my research. I think i need a plan. Thats what i said months ago. Anyway.. then this thing kicks in.. where i go RLRLRK RLK LRLRKK RLRLRR LRLRLL love it.

Ok, the good side of being what i thought i would not want to become but maybe i should stop it and yet i can't. Thats just what i think i need to do. So the good side is, finally i can really differentiate left from right very fast. Very fast! stuttering problems sometimes.. even when i teach... it just occured recently.. when i think too fast to speak.. and it is too frequent for me to express myself normally... so often that i think i didn't speak more that 100 sentences in a week. But well thank God i got hands to write.

That! is not depression!! That is not depression! Believe me. I am born to eliminate the need for voice. OH!!!! That why i see my little brother does not like to be in Choir!!! Just like me!!! Oh man.. some alien must have captured me to produce this freaky clone!!! Hahaha!

Well, the end of the day i don't know my time because my watch is always 25 minutes fast and i can't calculate fast enough to know the real time so i am actually quite lost in my time.

It is funny when someone ask me what time it is?? Then i stare at my watch seeing 12:23. Then i stare back at them like an idiot... and say... 12... 12... mm... 11.. *use some finger maths... Before i can tell them the answer... they look at my watch themselves and say Thank you. I didn't suppose they need to know the answer, but i hope they find out.

Better get going for skating with edna and weenie. Today is going to be hectic... I always amaze myself with many appointments up in my head without a schedule but then i can't remember names. LOL! I think that what primates are made to do.. know when to do what but they don't have names. Ever seen a monkey calling another monkey "Hey monkey!"... "You calling me? Monkey? Yes? Are you monkey?"... "pass me a banana!"... "here!" ... "Thanks!"... Want some cheese? Come on.. monkeys don't talk. Give me a break will you.

Ok. off you go man.. see you later.