Deny.

I'm still praying for a direction... and wondering... SAF Band... The chance of getting in is very slim either... Some more i will be a percussionist... ... harder some more when so many people can play drums... Mmm... But by faith... If it is God's plan then it shall be... I will follow.
Haha sometimes i really doubt and deny God's purpose for me. Like in this afternoon... I suddenly have the intention to join Air force again... THEN... Martin reminded me...HAha!
I was thinking:" since God closed so many door for me to serve him... Like removing drums from church... stopping me from playing many a times... in many ways... even jamming... He stopped me from it... so maybe music is really not my ministry..." But then i won't understand it but i know He meant it well for good intentions...
Maybe it was an answer to my prayer too... cuz during A level period i asked God to remove me from the music ministry because i am not really worshipping with my instrument... I also say to God that i really need to study hard to glorify Him and to give a good testimony to my parents ... So He did... the next sunday...The 4th storey of old church building complaint that the drums are too loud... and from then on i never touched the drums till now... However hard i try to find a drum to play i cannot... only at Batam where i played with chopsticks... Amazing God... And I know it is not by chance... God hears my prayers... Oops.. And at that time i actually wanted to tell Pastor Steven If I could stop serving for a while... but i didn't tell... Haha... But God knows my heart- is it pure before Him.
Now I will really have to ask God to lead me... I have learnt from Saul... Saul was not made the king anymore because of his disobedience to God's orders and impatience in waiting for Samuel... But He still kept the title of the king to himself --- Denial of God's orders... I must learn from Saul's mistake... Accepting that God does not like my attitude when i serve with my drums... that's why there is no annoiting from God... I must change this attitide with God's love and power and learn from God on how to have a pure heart while serving Him...