Delay

Hypercreative brain - nonsense
As a bookworm i borrowed a book about hyper creative brain. It is nonsense, defining hyper creative people as a group of people with a psychological disorder where they have too many ideas beaming but never getting them done. But such ppl does exist and i call them lazy ppl.
And i am one of them.. i will have a sudden surge of ideas, then while i test it out, another idea comes. This cause me to start too many projects but in the end everything die prematurely.

The problem is a lack of focus and practicality.

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But, this is not the end of the story, what caught my attention was the idea of repetitive work. I thought everyone hate repetitive work. e.g, DATA ENTRY. But from the book i realised that, not many people will die doing it.. but there are a rare few who will kill themselves if they were given that job.

Finally my species are talking.

It relate so much to me and the book really point everything about me out in explicit details. I almost wonder why it did not find its way to top sellers if it were so enticing. But i do realise that it is not something anyone will enjoy.

How much more will a muscle dystrophic patient Read more about his condition than a healthy individual? So i guess this book does speak sense. With emotional highs and lows(depression). I sometimes wonder why i never see such thing happening in my friends, at least not that often. But i also do not want to be depressed, i just became depressed just like chameleon changes colour.

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So what am i going to do about it?
I know i need to kill the urge to embark on new journeys before i even complete the existing one. And i need God to put joy in my heart. But strangely i know when i am very happy today.. it is very likely that i will have a depression attack in the days to follow. Unless i stay around happy people.

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It is very obvious that smile are disappearing among my peers. Age does brings wisdom and perhaps an understanding that does not arouse humour.
However, the pattern is obvious. When i find myself back to a certain memory state that involves certain people, my way of conduct will steer back time to the moments of the first years when we met. But it is not true if i try to control it by will. Things have seen drastic changes and i have been a bystander of all these scenes. Perhaps an audience standing among all the casts and crews. An introvet with no intention of participating in the world.

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I had a really cool experience today, perhaps it is a premonition to a scary evolution of mankind. Selfish and uncaring.
I was walking in the shopping mall to realise that actually i am dreaming a dream. No one knows me, and even if they did, they will not know that they actually have seen me if i just wake up from this dream.
In this mindset, it is very scary because i could jolly well had murdered someone and sentence myself to death but still thinking that it is a dream in the making. What am i thinking?
But, this feeling of being in the crowd but as the only conscious bystander is really strange... Just like being the only human to be able to tell lies when all that human can think of is the truth.

morphing.

I can fly to the moon if i were a moonfly.
Tell you, Tagalog is what i want to embark on but i think all these reflections sent a message otherwise.
Sleep.