There is no place i can be as honest

Truly i am dying inside to get away from all form of pretense.

Ever since i was born, what i am made to do has two purposes to it.
First is for survival, second is to appease the Giant of whom i call "Public".

In layman terms, what i do is first determined by mortal needs
and next is to conform to the world of how things should be perceived.

Nothing means more than living like who i am.
In no way of expressing anything to oppose myself.

In this lustful world, money and fame dangerously attract many to its glamor.
Money is nothing without the resources it can purchase.
Power of fame is nothing if its influence is not at all beneficial to mankind,
such powerful individuals are mere control freaks.

Anyway, i am happy as i am.. passing by this generation of humans and
happy to leave it without a trace.
Sometimes people say, you must first be the change you want to see in the world.
I see there needs to be a change, but i am uselessly unmotivated and disgusted
by the zeal of the Giants whose motives i do not agree with.

... i am not finished yet.

Starting School

"Architecture is the art of wasting space". quoted -someone.


School starts next week.
And i have bought all that is necessary.
Really expensive. The set of drawing pen alone cost me $59!
And 4 other tips at $29 each.

Pok liao.

Still got a laptop on the way at $2106.
And i went around looking for a book..
only to find it at $89 in popular..
I decided not to get it. So many books to read up..
I will just sit in library i guess.

I have no idea y i need a paper half my body length for my
first lesson on monday.
I can fold a paper crane that can carry me to the sky! Hahaha!
Hope i will put this paper to good use.

I got out the pencil set Crystal gave me as a birthday present 4 years ago.
Ranging from H - 6B. I liked it alot ever since i got it.
And now it is officially my "pencils" box.
Thank you so much Crystal. It is one of my most memorable presents.

I am still deciding whether to put down my drums.
I still must really thank God for a chance to serve for so long
in His music ministry, I played no matter i was bad or i was nice,
God is always good to me. I love God for this love He showed me first.

And i think i will be good and go cell group.
But still i won't play. I can't.
It has been one of my dreams to be a studio drummer..

I tot i would be good enough if i just get some proper lessons..

I never believed i have any talent.. but i learnt..

It is another of my dream to be an Artist(not architect)

But strangely for drawing.. i never practice yet people appreciates..
Looking into the mirror, i always see the Best Artist ever, That is God.
I can draw portraits.. but it is God who forms what i see first.
He even formed a mind in me where i can imagine..
Aber this art of forming an imaginative space is incredible.
Humans imitates by creating AI. AI responds but i doubt they imagine.

Anyway my point is, i love to draw. And thank God for this joy of drawing.












If i were an architect, i would create for greener earth, happier people.
A space that feels like home. Pay me just so i can settle my 3 meals and take a bus home. :)

Jazz Band

I have heard Jazz music, I have seen Jazz music.
But I have never played jazz before.

Today i saw before my eyes a live jazz band!
I never knew how improvisational was it until today.
It is free but given a simple set of rules. Trading 4.. sometimes 8.

It is a pleasure to meet a drummer, Brandon. He is good.
Friendly too. He said he has been playing for 2 years, Wow, he is
better than i was when i played for 2 years. The trick?
He said.. " I practiced right.."
I do agree.
"What book?" i asked..
"bop drumming" He said.

*I was silent about coming across it and tot it was not really applicable to me..
i don't play jazz anyway. I have no idea what i play too.. i play.. mistakes.
Going back to drums seems rather weird now. Real practice would need real commitment.

Anyway i do love to eat the subway in NUS. They are real generous with their veges.
And with 20% discount. Nice.

And the bus ride and MRT rides are really long. Feels like vomiting.

Well, met this lady, Ruth. From the name she's obviously a Christian.
Pretty smart. Medicine student. Play really well too. As would be expected
for a 2 years drummer. Shivers.. i am really scared of what is in the head
of Medicine students. I was almost one. I'm one who couldn't make it.

Before school start i might want to warm up a bit before my jazz drums audition.
Hope to pass. *stretch fingers*
*picks up sticks again for serious practice*

God i will never forget you in my life.
Although i may not be disciplined to pray everyday, i still remember you are the one who gives me "today".
I can't digest 7 chapters of bible a day, yet i am glad i still hold fast to your promises.
Anyway, i know i am really bad.
But in you i still see love.

Writing again

I am back blogging. :)
It was a real long freezer hibernation.

Just an update..
Gone are my Tough jungle lives..
Gone are my stressful, complicated and terrible working days.
Got a place in NUS architecture.

The 2 years of brain laze has cumulated tonnes of moss in my brain grooves.
I suspect if i do some x ray i might not see my brains. Empty as my snare drum.
*konk*

My days seems sadder and sadder.. i think i choose to be sad thats y.
Only if i could see the bright side of some things again.

*Randomness sinks in*
I still remember those depressed days when i missed one sunday of service..
I was a JERK. I talk like one, i act like one, i was one.
I don't like myself then.. I told myself not to act this way again.
Because i am not a jerk by nature. Totally not me.

I went for NUS guitar audition.. feel abit out of place. I tried to start
some conversation just to realise no one is interested to make friend.
I guess i was too talkative then. Anyway as usual i can't sight read,
I do respect them listening to me figuring out the blotch of ink flying around
the stadium tracks..*music score*

I really suspect i have some mental problem in reading.
Words work better than sleeping pills. The score too.. but
as a human, i have learnt to read and write. It is no longer ink
or black scribbly hairs on white surface.

Well as unexpected.. i have to stop my piano lesson. I was sad.
Still am sad. Always look forward to learning something new every lesson.
It will be my last lesson 30 Aug. What do i expect? An angel to appear and
teach me? I will be more than willing to pay $20.. thats what i can afford.
Anyway why would angels need money. I HATE the idea of money!

I am still sad over it.

I am 20 going 21.

I like to play drums. But, the idea of playing just to fill in the gap
when there is no gap at all disgust me. Makes no difference with
or without me. The only difference might be greater ease to the ear. Haha.
God i do love to play for you. I know you understand, I don't need to play.
Simple as having a spider on a wall. Or maybe a lizard.
I have no idea how else i can serve you.
I know! I can be the church's dishwasher, sounds more useful. Hahaha!
I will be one! Or i guess i am already one just not officially one.

Somehow the church reek of market smell.. or is it just me.
I don't think i smell like market. It is just a smell of meat kept in freezer.
I really don't mind being a vegetarian.. but surely i think i don't like
meat in my home freezer. Hahaha. Except Mock Meat. Veg meat.

Thank God i am deficient in my reading skills but to make up
He give me good nose. I never realise it till i tot i can differentiate coke from pepsi. Mm.. who can't. Hahaha. How about.. salt from socks. Hahaha! I beat no one dare to taste socks.. I also don't dare. Reuben once told me Charmaine got a smell..
i am sure he don't mean BO. I guess it is the shampoo when there is no perfume. What brand? Indian brand, Hahaha. Joking. But Indian smells thick and sweet.. i mean the garland.. the hair smells like olive oil and herb.

However good my taste and smell.. i am sure. Unless i get flu. Sadly i have unconventional likings. Not as the public would agree upon i would somehow feel there
is depth to the taste. Challenging enough to appreciate.
Anyway i love to eat what i love to eat. No amount of *Eeee or *Yucks will deter me from agreeing with *Eee.
Hahaha.

I really love to eat Yee Kei's Bee Hoon though. And the porridge in church. I am sure everyone agrees. It is not the food i taste.. it is the love i feel. Even if it is not something i like i will eat.. if it is not too spicy. Same for my mummy's food :)

Talk about spicy. It does numb my tongue. It match my character ya.. i am not those up for the trill.. But i do love trills on piano. Chopin's nocturne is sprinkled with it.

No more nonsense. I am sure i will be the only sentimental and crazy one to come back to read my own post. More to come.

I will wanna put down my uni experience in the days to come.

What is a Man?

Finally, after a day of fun and excitement with me, myself and i.. i have decided on the one to keep. May it be a wise choice.


Someday a boy will grow up to be a fine young man.

I am turning 21. I know i have not tried every single thing a teenage boy can possibly do, well and i am glad i did not. Now, why look back? I am looking forward now to all the responsibilities and commitments a man has to be equipped with. Looking back, it is quite laughable what a heck of a nonsense that young boy utter! Not every single word is nonsense though. But he is quite humorous. What a lot of tantrum he throws, well thats me. And definitely a heart that is wrongly fixated on wrong ladies.. What a whole globe of people you missed when you can't let go.. stop wasting your time!

What is a Man?

I have heard good things and bad things about man. But what portrait of a Man can i paint depends on how i am going to walk this path God has planned. A boy don't turn Man overnight, well but there is definitely a point of beginning of change... and it starts now.

This is the last post of my life. The life of a man is more than what a blog can contain. *seriousness sinks in*

Settle down on one.

It is rather quite scary how different i have become.

One moment, i felt like going onto the street and stare at any stray kids to pick up a fight. Kick off any stones in my way. Well i was on my bicycle though, and i tried everything i could, fly down the slopes, raced with cars, jay-ride all the traffics.. And you did guessed it, i was all alone... i think God would have turned away at this... so i thought i was alone.

Another moment, i walked the shops, not interested at the clothes at all.. well, it was all ladies wear what, why care a 2nd look? Boring.. Yet, i still walked, 1st storey, 2nd storey, 3rd, 4th,Arcade? Boring.. Cinema? Boring. Nothing seems to appeal to me. So i sit by the fountain. Hey Jiaxing! You don't shop! Let alone shopping with yourself.

How nice now if someone even care to just throw a stone at me.. Well, Do IT! I will not hesitate to exchange it for a punch! Well i might pay you to do it. Forget it... Jiaxing You are a jerk!

Ok, the next moment, i stepped into church.. If this were the old testament times, i might just slaughter anything that falls into my hand place it on the altar. And wait for the lightning to strike me down. Can't imagine what i said.. " God, you know what i am thinking, you know what i am going to say, so why should i even talk to you? ".. " Hello there..." ... " Answer me!"... well forget it.. and so i left and locked this place up. Thinking.. " How nice if God even care to strike me!"

The next day, i was totally different. I woke up with a whisper, " Thank you Lord i am still alive." Found myself so guity and repented.. Worshipped and prayed.

But it will not be long until i "start to think" i am alone again!

There are 2 dreams i can't forget.. In one, Pastor talked to me.. I was so Sian! I gave a "Stop it" look. She droned on and on...

In the next dream, She was talking to me again, a sentence in her droning caught me. Translated.. Jiaxing, you have a unique character. (I think to myself, " But i am so bad inside.") She continued.. you can choose to have a lousy attitude or a right attitude. Don't forget you can be pure and simple, but if you choose to turn bad...
(i can't remember i think i woke up)..

And so it was Saturday after my maths tuition. I am in church again. Pastor lau called me on phone.. I smacked my forehead and shook my head in disbelief... And guess what.. i hid my phone in my pocket and go to the drum to drown off the vibration. Terrible!! What the hell are you doing Jiaxing!!! Following that Reuben and Crystal continued tuition while i grabbed my bicycle and started to run away.

I cycled real fast.. well.. I think i have no idea whatever gotten me to compass point and i decided to buy bubble tea for Elim and Crystal and i went back to church. All was normal again as people see it.

Pastor did talked to me this sunday afternoon. I mean.. It is no more dream.. real talking. Well i understand whatever love relationship or bgr thing. Whats wrong.. it is not about this. I am just changing.. for the worsT. Well.. maybe it is just.. How being "alone" drives me nuts! I hate Nuts btw!

Well.. 2 different characters i have now fighting inside.. I just need to choose one. The more dominant one will be advantageous and domineering .. the meek and gentle one will be sweet.. well.. Mm. Haha! Try first. Settle on one and so be it.

There is a tendency for the viciously atheist one to exhibit on solitary situations. Hey jerk, lets go for some fun. Haha!

The week to come is going to be exciting!

The storm 's over.

Looking back..

I was drenched with darkness and rebellion. Believe me.. i might even bash you(guys only) up if you offend me on that stormy day of mine.

I missed church. I don't know what i was doing. And i don't know why it happen. But all i know is.. i was feeling really angry and really troubled.

I want to Thank Elim for being there even when i ignored her.. she still encouraged me.

And Charmaine for telling me of the things i seem to overlook.. Just hope she is not pissed off by my attitude.. haven't heard her for days.

Reuben for being so funny.. he makes me laugh.

Crystal for being there also even when i ignored her TOTALLY..sorry crystal. Well.. and i think she was really angry. She never seem to give up.. and keep asking me to pick myself up when i was feeling so lousy.

Thank anyone who got no idea what happened and still care to read on..

I must Thank God, for bringing me back in his very special way.

:)

silenced.

Silence this blog! My life is currently too dark to write anymore.

Drum lesson!

1 to 1 private drum lessons.

Absolute beginners to newbie.$20 per hour. Learn proper stick techniques and rudiments. Strong emphasis on personal creativity, sight reading will be taught. Call 91553023.

Amateur drummers. $25 per hour. Looking to improve technique, limbs independence and stick control. Want to get a kick start in new genres, Latin( Salsa, Afro cuban, mambo, Samba) , Jazz, or fusion. Requirement: 1 year of experience in hitting those stuff. Call 91553023.

Advance drummers. Free. Aiming to join any possible competition and grab the trophy. Want to learn creative and musical soloing. Requirement: friendly and passionate. Call 91553023, make friends.

Professional drummers. Trying to perfect sight reading and coordination. Incorporating polyrhythms and time shifts and forever expressing the details of complex compositions. Inherit virtuosity. Hunting for a student. Leave a message 91553023. I will call you to take up lessons.

My friend Jarryl :)

Good night old Jarryl,

forever full of riddles.

To his dreams he brings his wonders,

and wakes with a morning ponder.


This kid sure is going to be a great thinker.

If not, at least a lecturer.


For through dark and light,

Fascinations bring a surge of delight,

to his forever curious appetite.


Do pay attention if you see the light bulb twinkle,

in the eyes of my dear friend Jarryl.

For do admit it, the questions are far from simple.


A simple poem, to a not so simple personality, do not oversee some things from what seems to be an obvious situation cuz from it comes great wonders! Way to go Jarryl!

Romance

is like when someone holds you tight... and your heart comes alight.

In their embrace, time is never called a waste.

When tears subside, you realise that he has braved the tide.

His lips are silent yet the his deeds too prominent.

Whispering to you nothing but a simple truth.

A truth you never knew,

that he always love you.

2008

Here now i will list my new year resolution.
About my hobby, I want to:

*Pass an ABRSM percussion Grade5 this year.

*Be able to sight read Grade 3 pieces on piano.

About my physical, I want to:

*Blade gracefully and not get swelling blisters

*Get my IPPT Gold award

*Stay away from chocolate :)

About my relationship, I want to:

*Grow deeper in love with God and mean from my heart whatever that i may say to my God.

*Learn to love freely and to trust God in preparing for me a loving life partner

About my attitude, I want to:

*Be who i am, run and play whenever i can

*Change to be who i have to be, a young man who is gentlemanly

*Become who God wants me to be for His honour and glory!

Church Camp 2007 - Genting

I can recall, the weather was nice. It was cold up there living in the cloud.

I see the bright.

Today is my last day of piano lesson. I practiced the simplified version of Moonlight Sonata movt1. There are so many things i did not see in this music when i first sight read it on my own, I was thinking... How can this be Grade2 when it is simpler than the Grade1 minuet? What i did not expect is the depth to this music. So many new thing i learn from it, technically and musically.
Technical part is the pedal and my finger control for "piano"(soft). Musical part, just too beautifully sorrow i cannot describe. I really thank my teacher Pei Li for pointing out so many beautiful things i overlooked.
I am going to give my fingers a little INTENSIVE "relaxed workout" this holiday. Oxymoron! Haha!


Drummers beware, if ever you were to consider picking up piano (not literally) your middle fingers will be extra !ACCENTED! not the thumb. And in the really beginning, you will realise your last 3fingers are so united they go everywhere STICKING TOGETHER. And tiempo(tempo) is in your head but not on your fingers. Fingers can be real REBELLIOUS! Elim was shaking my wrist to check out my hand. She said it is better than when i was in army. My one and only goal in this holiday is to relax my pinky fingers.
And if a Piano player wanna pick up guitar, Classical guitar is the only choice, Fret whole day(proper fretting) on the guitar and there is no hardening of finger tips at all, just as tender as new. Haha! Like freshly toasted bread.
And i realise never learn so many instruments if age is catching up. You will not be really good at any of them. Thats what happen to me. But i can't help it, my fascination just brings me to wanna know how to play them. I will not fail to Thank God for making me so delicate fingers.

I realise something recently. I love Movie Musicals!
I watched a few movie musicals this year and all of them caught my heart! Leaving a Deep Impression.
1) West Side Story
2) Sound of Music
3) Marry Poppins
4) Moulin Rouge

There is this "Enchanted" I am sure going to catch. Sounds something like Marry poppins where Disney cartoon and Real life combine. But i am sure the latter will be more 'real'! I am not going to miss it!

Holidays are here!

20.

I want to thank.
1.God for creating me
2.Mummy for the labour pain on my birthday
3.Daddy for the care when i was a tadpole
4.two Elder brothers for sacrificing their foods and toys for me
5.My younger brother for not doing the same thing i did to my elder brothers.
6.My grandparents for their utmost care and lunch they prepared
7.My Friends for the dinner at swensens.
8.Kun, Wee, Jun Jian, Kai Xiang, Jin Chong, Stella, Angeline.
9.Cross brearers for the unforgettable game and the Cocktail prepared with love! And all the wonderful gifts :) i appreciate all the presents.. even "spidey".
10.Reuben for the dry fit shirt which fits exactly! *pats* and for trying the cocktail
11.Jarryl for the Spidey! It will be a pet in church.
12.Elim and Jarryl for the Bicycle back light.. Now i will be safer in the night.
13.Vanessa for the Poster which i turned superman! Cool and Funny!
14.Sheryl for the Yamaha Plastic bag.
15.Charmaine for choosing her favourite no. 21 for the last game. How do i know?
16.Yee Kei for the bolt.
17.Shaun for the Big wide smile! :)
(names above are by order starting anticlockwise from me)
18.God for sanctifying the cocktail
19.Finally I am thankful for everything that leads me to.........................
20.

I have got to say this!!!!

Today I tasted this Really Great Cake!!! I don't want to call it tiramisu. Because the image of tiramisu is totally atrocious in my head... the first tiramisu i tasted was like chocolate ice cream cake, the 2nd was like a espresso sponge cake with chocolate.. Terrible!!!

Today I have got to say this... the moment i put this cake into my mouth... the coffee(not espresso) taste penetrated through... slowly.. the chocolate started to melt... and it felt like walking on snow... like a ballet dancer... the peppermint skipped in... and the taste of liquor was like the smooth jazzy background drummer carassing the cymbals with his brushes... I just can't help but.. HAhah!! So happy! Thank God for the cake.

I really wanna share this joy... but.. U know i must learn to control myself... Last time i was so happy eating chocolate i can't resist but finish a box of after8 that was meant to be a b'dae present for Charm..

Now i will wait and see if i get any diarrhoea from the cake.. if not... i am ready to share the joy! Te adora my Lord for santifying the cake. :)

If drums could speak..

"You are noisy!" I told my drums today..
I almost heard her sobbing quietly. For the rest of the worship practice, she just sang quietly.. choked between sobs.
I was so sorry.. But she distracted me from playing to My one true audience,God ,that i simply could not bear to let her carry on. Seemed so out of place.

Various things went through my head in a lightning split second!... Could it be the small room that your Beautiful Projectile just seemed Thunderously NOISY? Or could it be.. i am just not gentle enough? Or could it be my ears.. they are imagining things? Or were the amplifers too soft that a sound from you is like a gunshot in the stillness of the night? Or maybe u are just unnecessary?

Oh God, i still love the skill u have put into my hands.. but i can't.. simply can't put it to use now.. i felt so disappointed.. Feeling as if.. me sitting by my drums is totally unnecessary.
Donno la... there is just this feeling... today, the music is So so... so... so... Extremely EMPTY and DRY... that i just refuse to paticipate in making it... I was totally Crushed in sadness yet hidden in my facade of.."nothing is wrong".

God,in the middle of the night
you called me and tell me
how i was seduced by the beauty of my drum
and drawn so far from you..

Now i ask of you.
Teach me how to play,
The way that speaks your love..

I pray.

Melancholic - Phalegmatic

Melancholic-Phalegmatic is who i am!

How true i see that by the time we are created in the womb, God has already given us a unique personality. Horoscope is never accurate. Don't rely on them to tell you who you are. No one(but God) knows you better than yourself.

I am quite amazed by how personalities/temperaments defines us. There's this Sparkly and cheerful SANGUINE, strong and compulsive CHOLERIC, organized and Perfectionist MELANCHOLIC and lastly the kind and gentle PHALEGMATIC.

Haha, there are so many situations tat define me. The Engine that keeps me motivated seems to cool down so extremely fast as each moment pass. There's a calm that's comparable to the dead sea. And i will tend to shrink myself into corners of shadows, and when i kick start my engine, i will have " let's swim across the pacific ocean NOW!" kinda URGE. Unless someone stops me, "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!" And when my mind is Cemented to an idea, NOBODY can Bulge me! Stubbon as a bull. When i "stone" i will be thinking of Ultra weird things, from the little frogs in the sky to flying fingers. And the Introvert in me never moves me to approach people at will, needless to say dating someone i like.

It will be more interesting now to know more about others. How ppl react to situations somehow puzzels me now.

Packing my room again..

Nostalgic... The 2005 Jiaxing is so different from who i am now... I can't imagine how creative i was... FLipping through 2 books of incomplete manga drawn by that Jiaxing... I was amazed... I drew this? My idea? So Romantica! And an essay written by Jiaxing 1 year ago i was truly in awe by his maturity of thought and such strong Idea! Totally defeated. And 2 portraits of "teenage magazine" models drawn by him... Haha!! I can beat him in that.. But the portrait was so.."Alive" and it is done with $2 crayon! How did he do that? I grief because tat creative Jiaxing is going to die in a famine. A famine tat lasted 1 year + .. I am so going to brush up my drawing again.

Being in army for almost 2 years by now... Such rusty Brain... Such Determination to meet my Goals no matter what... Such low IQ that cannot even match a donkey.. Such hardwork to lossen my stiff fingers... Me. Now. Strong for War. Plain in thought. Write a command and i will complete it with my life!

GOD!!! RELEASE ME FROM THE TIE OF ARMY!!!! I AM SICK!!! SO SICK! AHHHhhh!!!!! MY BRAIN IS WASHED BEYOND RECOGNITION!!! THE COLOUR IS NOT FADED BUT THE COLOUR IS GONE!!! WHITE WASHED BRAIN!!!

Hiaz... NExT WEEk I will BE slamming myself on the floor Real hard till i vomit blood! That is what ARMY call Close Combat trainning.. Thank God it is just for 2 weeks slamming and flipping each other. Haha!

Mentality: Never think of surviving... Insurance will be paid to your family... God is waiting in heaven... "To die is Gain"! But never to die purposely, that will be suicide. God will protect me so i know i won't die so easily.

No paradox but a weakness strengthened by Faith in my God!

... God i Love You and that is true! I can say it so freely cuz U Love me too! I can Shout! " I Love You JEsus!!!" I can tell everyone i love you!!!

Think again.. If you love someone and cannot tell... Agony within is Great!

ANYONE KNOWS? God does. Everytime i see *er, to yell within my heart is all i am restricted to.. 720++days i live through it the same. God tell me what to do, i will wait for you God. Answer me when you will. My heart hides the word.. "I love you!" OK i know i do love her and there is nothing anyone can do about it even i can't do anything about it... to forget i will commit it to God and throw away and destroy everything that reminds me of her... to do tat i will destroy myself first! I will never do that... haiz... ok ba just keep this as a beautiful memory. Tats all i can do. God you hear me.. Comfort me for your love alone surpass all i need.

How to get Rich? NONSENSE!!!

I am having some disagreements with the DESIRE to get any richer. Simply say it," I Do not WANT to stay rich((define:having surplus to feed 1000 families)) if i were rich."

Me being too ignorant to be considered a thinking man once asked my fren,"So what are these BIG people under this capital system striving for? BIG companies competing against one another to produce better products at the lowest cost... Exploiting the poor in sweatshops."

My fren," Imagine if one company decides to give proper wages to the slaves, of course the cost of production will increase. And the price of the product will increase. Will you buy a shoe of same quality for $50 or $500? Of course tat company will not survive. Makes sense. Yes."

So in this case i see it is not the fault of the People working under this system... the fault lies solely in the system.

I was thinking how can a man be so cruel as to earn so much and even want to earn more at the expense of starving others. Simply saying GREED is = HEARTLESS!

As i began to ponder... My mind somehow drew a link... Ministers are earning alot... Tats all i can say before i get chained.

My fren once said," Who on earth will ever think they have too much money!"

I frowned... thinking,"U mean no one ever tot so... i am sure someone, somewhere disagree!"

Wat if someone have this idea. "I will never want to be rich because if i were a rich man, the money will be gone,leaving just enough for me to spend. Gone building schools, given as scholarships, and to provide medical services for the poor in rural regions." ... " I have just enough stomach space to eat one meal. Why save up Trillions of future meals leaving millions else where starving?"

I really pray to the deepest core of my heart... like i have never felt any burden heavier before... that the rich will not be lovers of money, wanting to get richer. But love God and love His ppl who are starving else where.

How true.. the --<>-- is the root of all evil..

--Sigh off...

*shake head*... " WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THIS WORLD I AM LIVING IN???!!!"

The world will be ruined by us man if God is not in control.
Thank You God i know you are always there giving hope to the poor and needy.