Tml is new year eve.
I am 21 years old now.
Church is holding a watch night service where i need to give a testimony.
Testimony is nothing like friendster testimony.
It is a testimony which tells people how much my God has done in this little life of mine. Great God working in a little man.
A brief walk-through of my 2008 timeline..
I ORD from NS, I found a job in ST electronics, then i quit, then i got into NUS architecture and holidays came.
How how... Oh no... ...
I know i got really rebellious, i got really hurt and rejected, i got so lonely in school, i can't tell people God is there in my life.
Depression sinks in... Ahhh!
Siao liao...
Well, maybe the miracle is that i stood up again to serve.
Ok... when i ORD.. I got more and more agitated as i play my drums, cuz i sounds sucky. And then i stop playing cuz i sucks. God allowed me to stop as I was asked by Elim not to play for a few weeks.. i know it is God's plan. So i stopped.. and i got really hard hearted and i don't want to go back to play anymore cuz i keep thinking i suck... in God's band. I just wanna enjoy my pride in the worldly Band music.
Pride took me over and i didn't realise. I knew something was wrong when.. my heart wants to play for God, but i am afraid of sounding sucky. So there.. i was praying and God told me me this.. Pride will make me fall.
So i realised my pride and i asked Elim if i could play again. So i am playing again. Thank God for bringing me back. Although i still sound so sucky, i can't bother much about the music when nothing i can do will make it better, yet i know i have to be bothered whether God is there in the worship. If God is there, i would be content even with pots and pans.
Maybe in my life, God's grace is really evident. No glorious victories, no big achievements, nothing in me is worth human praise. But, a brokened life brought back to God, it is the greatest gift of all. And it is the most direct way to show, God is to be praised. I did nothing this year, But God has done alot in moulding me.
I hope for 2009. With this new God moulded(still moulding) attitude, i can achieve some goals set for Showing people how great is my God!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Apology
Ok. I have to be careful whatever i post here.
Must not affect anyone cuz i thought this is a desert for me.
A desolate blog which no one reads... Well, anyway ghost readers do appear! Whoo...
Welcome. *echo... welcome Welc.. oo...m...e..
*shivers
Anyway, i will not post how down i was.
For anyone who cares to know... i am fine. I was just lonely thats all. A word i can't find. Now i am not. I have friends everywhere, my drumsitck, drums whatever. Haha! I found a brown friend under my bed. He is my brown Vic Firth Drumstick.
Moreover I got Jesus!
Jesus is my best friend and his birthday is coming soon.
There is going to be a party globally but sadly people often neglect Him when this celebration rolls on.
People throw a party called Christmas for Jesus! I do hope Jesus gets more of our attention this year. I selfish PIG. Always think of me me me, forgot of my best friend. He is a King somemore! I am totally convicted. Sorry sorry Jesus. The best gift to get for Christmas is Jesus. The best gift to give is Jesus! The best gift to give Jesus is our heart.
Hey i got a little story in my heart.
(Since it is a story, it don't need to be true)
It is his birthday. 21st birthday. To think of it. I had been rebellious. I spent my birthday.. in ps. I thought i was happy alone. Well i wasn't actually. I thought i needed no one. Anyway, its over. I had a great chocolate cake from my little brother, and it is his first time buying a cake by himself! For ME! Touching lei... *sob sob. Money provided by my eldest brother! A sweet birthday song from my mother. I am happy i am so blessed. I am so happy! Haha! When you feel like you have no friends... try going back home.. if you are homeless, try ringing me... i might be as lonely. When 2 loners meet, they talk.
As i wear my earphones... the song plays... and i purposely didn't on my mp3.. cuz i just want silence... well the songs in my memory still play in random shuffles.
> Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight?(... Eeeks...)
Do you stare at your bald head and wish you had hair?..(-_-lll HAhaha!!!!)
> Standing at the crowded street, Listening to my own heartbeat..
> I can't forget.. the way.. your cakes's.. the filling so strong while lasting for so long... (??? -_-lll only if i had a cake.. then again i got a cake)
> Never knew... i could feel like this... Like i never seen the sky before.
I want to vanish inside your... cakes. Everyday i miss you more and more.
> A dream is a wish your heart makes.. you'r fast a sleep.
> And now... the end is near... and so i face... the final curtain...???
> Thats why you go...
> Everyday! Its you i wish for!
> My life! Is in you Lord my Strength!
> YOoou! Do That thing you DOoo...
> Talk to me tell me your name...
>... ...
> She Bangs! She Bangs! Oh babe, She Moves she moves.
> Yesterday... all my troubles seems so far away.
> ... Dang .. Dang dang.. dang dang.. Daaang... Chopin's Nocturne 21 plays.. shivering sadness and love in tat tremolo... Hahaha!!1 Hahaha!
> She BANGS! SHE BANGS! I wasted by the way she moved she moves..
> Well... maybe he's right. but, I just can't see how a world so beautiful could be... bla bla bla... silence...
> Look at these stuff. Isn't it neat, wouldn't you think my collections complete? Wouldn't you think i'm the giRl... the giRl who has... everything.
> COMEEEE WHAAT MAY....
> His hands upon your hands.. his hand upon your skin.. his lips upon your lips...
It's MORE THAN I ... CAN... STAND!!!!!! Boom!... violin solo plays in my head...
Raaaak... scent!??? (I guess it is the name of the prostitute)
> This song.. i know you know.. let's lift his name on high!
> i am half the man i used to be.. there's a shadow hanging over me.. and i believe in...
> YouUuu...
Do that thing you do!
Breaking my heart in... two a million pieces..
> Thats why i go. Away i.. know.
I am spartacle! I am spectacle! I am Tenticles! I am articles! I am uncle!
Hahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I am crazy here.
Hey hey, do try to make no sense of what you read. I never even understand what i am intending to mean because i like it the way it flows in my head.. just like it always happens before i sleep. If no one know yet. Crazy ideas run in my head always before i sleep.. and my dreams carries on till the day and last till night. Some are errrily accurate. But it is seldom.
Old man see visions and young man dream dreams.
For me, i imagine stories. Where housefly eat apples. And I eat a pear lying on the edge of my piano C# key. Escalators fly up and down like a rattling snakes... And i fly down stairs like spiderman! I do try before... and i tot i was cool. I was well and unhurt. I can't remember how i did the stuff i did last time.. cycling with one leg and no hands in a circle in my living room. On a 2 wheeled bicycle! Tats amazing! ply open cassette players when all i need is a button. And play with barbie dolls amputating their hands and feet. And adding magic colour pens at my white bread.. thinking it is pizza.. and i actually ate 5 of them under the kitchen table... some how i knew it was wrong. Waking up on sunday feeling nostalgic about saturday. Swinging my self on the cradle? till i fall on my back. Collect red ants at the back yard of ximin primary school! They never stop coming out! I was often alone and i didn't know it is sad to be alone till someone told me it was till then did i feel lonely. Eating my favourite Longyan toufu at 50cents. Reaching home to play lego. Keeping fish in the tanks... keeping 2 small terrapins.. and i secretly fished out guppies from my brother's fish tank to feed my terrapins! Hahaha! Small frogs too! They grew big and was sent off. I drew a self portrait in front of my mom's bedroom mirror... my brother didn't say a thing.. no one said it was nice or was it ugly... maybe they didn't think it was at all important.. but nevermind.. i threw it away. I drew fishes. An incomplete Dragon fish head in colour pencil.. a realistic one! Well daddy did say something like... stop wasting time on these. I started drawing manga. STarting with 金田一, a Japanese comic. I love the way the eyes seem to sparkle with lots of crazy details. Then i ended with a Taiwan comic of i donno what... where the colours and faces looks so realistic yet fantasy. So i met a girl whom i tot was familiar. She was my primary school friend. To be honest enough i had a little crush. We wrote letters to each others.. and i drew to her many many pictures.. almost every other day that i return from secondary school. Pictures of almost anything. I was happy tats all i know. Yet shy to be any closer. Well her letters are still in a golden box in my drawer. Sweet innocent ages have been long gone. Met my band mates! They were nice! ? Well Thats JC. My life made a turn. I do still draw portraits. I drew one for Milene, by my friend's request. During O level.. my mom said i was wasting time. i thought not. I drew a few for Charmaine and Elim.. And i am sure no one ended in Elim's hands! hahaha! Was there? I forgot. My memory start to fail. I drew a few more... sad sad.. getting sadder as i draw. JC life was a holiday trip in Anderson. I love it. I was so sick in California. I lost my voice. There wasn't anything interesting. Well i learnt to play my drums then. Bit by bit i picked up my skill. still under exposed in my ears. I love her. Then it is when i got my Swiss Triplet! fast! FAST! I can't control my joy! And then i picked up my swiss army knife and my rifle in tat army camp. Tortured, yet pampered. Can't explain the paradox. Every night, a song sings me to sleep.. Hide me now.. under your wings... cover me.. within your mighty hands... Zzz.. When the.. ocean.. zz... even now i feel sleepy. Whenever i run! A song motivated me on.. MY life is in you lord my strength is in you lord my hope is in you in you is in you! Gold.. and money i got. friends i made. Thank God for a hope i can put in Him. Well got to Scouts, and had weird friends.. nice friends.. friends i still can't mix well with. Played lots of card games and it is when i picked up my guitar. Guitar! I do remember sitting beside the window early before the sun rise holding the bible and reading by chapters. Then a BX or tank will start its engine... VRooMmmmmm...mmmmm...mmm...mmmmmmm...mmmm.... all the way mmmm...mmmm..mmmmm... till i turn off my brain to the mmmm.mmmm.....haha! Then after praying for church and Pastor and Elim and Charmaine and reuben. I forgot to pray for the rest. I do pray sometimes for Yee kei though. haha! After these.. i go to my guitar! And play my C major scale. and i play the melodies i remember i hear b4. Well my ears.. were still tone deaf then. Haha!mmmm.....mmmmm....mmmm....
I learnt wadds bar chords. And tats all. HAhaha! There was once during Charmaine's birthday when i can't give anything.. trapped in camp.. so free... i guess tats why i called to wish her happy birthday! Haiz.. i know i am not like this one... i never do such stupid stuff. That's the year she got empty After8 chocolate box from me. Wahaha!!!! I did it on purpose! hahaha! She is so funny Hahaha!!!! I ate all the chocolates cuz they are so tasty and so she will have none to eat!!! I was crazy for sure. Anyway, i still drew portraits even in my camp. I drew some for my camp friends... using paper and pen. Pen was a tough medium for sure. At the same time i tried oil portrait for my daddy and mommy's wedding photos. It was such a failure i must say.. But i still have a picture of a little girl holding a seashell.. that was a water colour portrait though. Haha.. I love that one. Then i drew a pencil portrait and then a colour pencil portrait. And finally i did an oil painting portrait for Charmaine in 4days and the last night... i can't dry it in time. To compensate for the empty chocolate box which i hope whe will forget. Proportions were a little off.. and the sea looked weird to me.. but nevermind.. tat marks the end of my portrait journey. And to architecture, i drew lots of diagrams which i thought was too easy.. but tedious... I must thank God for the years of drawing trainings i put myself under. Intensive study and practice by myself. God knows well har.. hahaha!! He sure does knows where i am headed. Well, so i picked up piano. I like my teacher Peili, taught me all my scales and a nice piano tone i thought i still have. I bought her a farewell persent of disney princess pencil box and i know she used it for her last lesson. And she brought me through the grade 5 exam. Now lesson is ex and i stop. i won't say y. cuz it is very expensive. And then i teach drums. I learnt metal drumming then... and teach double pedal techniques. I learnt as i taught. And as i teach, i learn. haha! And so i am stop playing for church cuz i thought i can't play in that context. Well, now i am playing again. Playing for God, you don't need to be good. You need to be true. Ok, i wish we could be more honest to each other. We can be good. But when everything is pointed towards me.. "it all depends on you." !!! I am not God. I won't know what you all want? If only God put someone in my shoe now. I hear a side of building up and a side of toning down! CRAZY! I usually do follow the instruction though... do whatever i want.. and i know it is horrible! Be honest! I still love her. It's hard to put down the things that have been tormenting me. I am quite certain no one will follow the reading till so far.. so it is time to be honest in me. Jiaxing is my name. Hahaha!
I can't love anymore i am hurt. So deep i am not loving. God i need your help to help me love again. Anyone. Terrible.
Okok. I am ok. Everything is fine in me. Pull back the curtain! I can't help it.
Ok to talk of being ok... i have to go back to my drums. You see i started my double pedal at the unmatched slow speed of 30bpm in quaver. still can't control.. and after learning that there are 3 levels to attain in double padling, i achieved the 3rd level of 180.. and today i was requested by Dean to try 200bpm at quaver speed in one leg at a time. I did it! haha! Amazing technique. So i blasted a blast beat. PoWer!
reh evol llits i. Anyway, sorry for anyone who want to read. I really take this place to spill. I really don't wanna affect anyone in anyway, spiritually, physically, emotionally.
Thats all Forks! Hahaha!
Must not affect anyone cuz i thought this is a desert for me.
A desolate blog which no one reads... Well, anyway ghost readers do appear! Whoo...
Welcome. *echo... welcome Welc.. oo...m...e..
*shivers
Anyway, i will not post how down i was.
For anyone who cares to know... i am fine. I was just lonely thats all. A word i can't find. Now i am not. I have friends everywhere, my drumsitck, drums whatever. Haha! I found a brown friend under my bed. He is my brown Vic Firth Drumstick.
Moreover I got Jesus!
Jesus is my best friend and his birthday is coming soon.
There is going to be a party globally but sadly people often neglect Him when this celebration rolls on.
People throw a party called Christmas for Jesus! I do hope Jesus gets more of our attention this year. I selfish PIG. Always think of me me me, forgot of my best friend. He is a King somemore! I am totally convicted. Sorry sorry Jesus. The best gift to get for Christmas is Jesus. The best gift to give is Jesus! The best gift to give Jesus is our heart.
Hey i got a little story in my heart.
(Since it is a story, it don't need to be true)
It is his birthday. 21st birthday. To think of it. I had been rebellious. I spent my birthday.. in ps. I thought i was happy alone. Well i wasn't actually. I thought i needed no one. Anyway, its over. I had a great chocolate cake from my little brother, and it is his first time buying a cake by himself! For ME! Touching lei... *sob sob. Money provided by my eldest brother! A sweet birthday song from my mother. I am happy i am so blessed. I am so happy! Haha! When you feel like you have no friends... try going back home.. if you are homeless, try ringing me... i might be as lonely. When 2 loners meet, they talk.
As i wear my earphones... the song plays... and i purposely didn't on my mp3.. cuz i just want silence... well the songs in my memory still play in random shuffles.
> Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight?(... Eeeks...)
Do you stare at your bald head and wish you had hair?..(-_-lll HAhaha!!!!)
> Standing at the crowded street, Listening to my own heartbeat..
> I can't forget.. the way.. your cakes's.. the filling so strong while lasting for so long... (??? -_-lll only if i had a cake.. then again i got a cake)
> Never knew... i could feel like this... Like i never seen the sky before.
I want to vanish inside your... cakes. Everyday i miss you more and more.
> A dream is a wish your heart makes.. you'r fast a sleep.
> And now... the end is near... and so i face... the final curtain...???
> Thats why you go...
> Everyday! Its you i wish for!
> My life! Is in you Lord my Strength!
> YOoou! Do That thing you DOoo...
> Talk to me tell me your name...
>... ...
> She Bangs! She Bangs! Oh babe, She Moves she moves.
> Yesterday... all my troubles seems so far away.
> ... Dang .. Dang dang.. dang dang.. Daaang... Chopin's Nocturne 21 plays.. shivering sadness and love in tat tremolo... Hahaha!!1 Hahaha!
> She BANGS! SHE BANGS! I wasted by the way she moved she moves..
> Well... maybe he's right. but, I just can't see how a world so beautiful could be... bla bla bla... silence...
> Look at these stuff. Isn't it neat, wouldn't you think my collections complete? Wouldn't you think i'm the giRl... the giRl who has... everything.
> COMEEEE WHAAT MAY....
> His hands upon your hands.. his hand upon your skin.. his lips upon your lips...
It's MORE THAN I ... CAN... STAND!!!!!! Boom!... violin solo plays in my head...
Raaaak... scent!??? (I guess it is the name of the prostitute)
> This song.. i know you know.. let's lift his name on high!
> i am half the man i used to be.. there's a shadow hanging over me.. and i believe in...
> YouUuu...
Do that thing you do!
Breaking my heart in... two a million pieces..
> Thats why i go. Away i.. know.
I am spartacle! I am spectacle! I am Tenticles! I am articles! I am uncle!
Hahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I am crazy here.
Hey hey, do try to make no sense of what you read. I never even understand what i am intending to mean because i like it the way it flows in my head.. just like it always happens before i sleep. If no one know yet. Crazy ideas run in my head always before i sleep.. and my dreams carries on till the day and last till night. Some are errrily accurate. But it is seldom.
Old man see visions and young man dream dreams.
For me, i imagine stories. Where housefly eat apples. And I eat a pear lying on the edge of my piano C# key. Escalators fly up and down like a rattling snakes... And i fly down stairs like spiderman! I do try before... and i tot i was cool. I was well and unhurt. I can't remember how i did the stuff i did last time.. cycling with one leg and no hands in a circle in my living room. On a 2 wheeled bicycle! Tats amazing! ply open cassette players when all i need is a button. And play with barbie dolls amputating their hands and feet. And adding magic colour pens at my white bread.. thinking it is pizza.. and i actually ate 5 of them under the kitchen table... some how i knew it was wrong. Waking up on sunday feeling nostalgic about saturday. Swinging my self on the cradle? till i fall on my back. Collect red ants at the back yard of ximin primary school! They never stop coming out! I was often alone and i didn't know it is sad to be alone till someone told me it was till then did i feel lonely. Eating my favourite Longyan toufu at 50cents. Reaching home to play lego. Keeping fish in the tanks... keeping 2 small terrapins.. and i secretly fished out guppies from my brother's fish tank to feed my terrapins! Hahaha! Small frogs too! They grew big and was sent off. I drew a self portrait in front of my mom's bedroom mirror... my brother didn't say a thing.. no one said it was nice or was it ugly... maybe they didn't think it was at all important.. but nevermind.. i threw it away. I drew fishes. An incomplete Dragon fish head in colour pencil.. a realistic one! Well daddy did say something like... stop wasting time on these. I started drawing manga. STarting with 金田一, a Japanese comic. I love the way the eyes seem to sparkle with lots of crazy details. Then i ended with a Taiwan comic of i donno what... where the colours and faces looks so realistic yet fantasy. So i met a girl whom i tot was familiar. She was my primary school friend. To be honest enough i had a little crush. We wrote letters to each others.. and i drew to her many many pictures.. almost every other day that i return from secondary school. Pictures of almost anything. I was happy tats all i know. Yet shy to be any closer. Well her letters are still in a golden box in my drawer. Sweet innocent ages have been long gone. Met my band mates! They were nice! ? Well Thats JC. My life made a turn. I do still draw portraits. I drew one for Milene, by my friend's request. During O level.. my mom said i was wasting time. i thought not. I drew a few for Charmaine and Elim.. And i am sure no one ended in Elim's hands! hahaha! Was there? I forgot. My memory start to fail. I drew a few more... sad sad.. getting sadder as i draw. JC life was a holiday trip in Anderson. I love it. I was so sick in California. I lost my voice. There wasn't anything interesting. Well i learnt to play my drums then. Bit by bit i picked up my skill. still under exposed in my ears. I love her. Then it is when i got my Swiss Triplet! fast! FAST! I can't control my joy! And then i picked up my swiss army knife and my rifle in tat army camp. Tortured, yet pampered. Can't explain the paradox. Every night, a song sings me to sleep.. Hide me now.. under your wings... cover me.. within your mighty hands... Zzz.. When the.. ocean.. zz... even now i feel sleepy. Whenever i run! A song motivated me on.. MY life is in you lord my strength is in you lord my hope is in you in you is in you! Gold.. and money i got. friends i made. Thank God for a hope i can put in Him. Well got to Scouts, and had weird friends.. nice friends.. friends i still can't mix well with. Played lots of card games and it is when i picked up my guitar. Guitar! I do remember sitting beside the window early before the sun rise holding the bible and reading by chapters. Then a BX or tank will start its engine... VRooMmmmmm...mmmmm...mmm...mmmmmmm...mmmm.... all the way mmmm...mmmm..mmmmm... till i turn off my brain to the mmmm.mmmm.....haha! Then after praying for church and Pastor and Elim and Charmaine and reuben. I forgot to pray for the rest. I do pray sometimes for Yee kei though. haha! After these.. i go to my guitar! And play my C major scale. and i play the melodies i remember i hear b4. Well my ears.. were still tone deaf then. Haha!mmmm.....mmmmm....mmmm....
I learnt wadds bar chords. And tats all. HAhaha! There was once during Charmaine's birthday when i can't give anything.. trapped in camp.. so free... i guess tats why i called to wish her happy birthday! Haiz.. i know i am not like this one... i never do such stupid stuff. That's the year she got empty After8 chocolate box from me. Wahaha!!!! I did it on purpose! hahaha! She is so funny Hahaha!!!! I ate all the chocolates cuz they are so tasty and so she will have none to eat!!! I was crazy for sure. Anyway, i still drew portraits even in my camp. I drew some for my camp friends... using paper and pen. Pen was a tough medium for sure. At the same time i tried oil portrait for my daddy and mommy's wedding photos. It was such a failure i must say.. But i still have a picture of a little girl holding a seashell.. that was a water colour portrait though. Haha.. I love that one. Then i drew a pencil portrait and then a colour pencil portrait. And finally i did an oil painting portrait for Charmaine in 4days and the last night... i can't dry it in time. To compensate for the empty chocolate box which i hope whe will forget. Proportions were a little off.. and the sea looked weird to me.. but nevermind.. tat marks the end of my portrait journey. And to architecture, i drew lots of diagrams which i thought was too easy.. but tedious... I must thank God for the years of drawing trainings i put myself under. Intensive study and practice by myself. God knows well har.. hahaha!! He sure does knows where i am headed. Well, so i picked up piano. I like my teacher Peili, taught me all my scales and a nice piano tone i thought i still have. I bought her a farewell persent of disney princess pencil box and i know she used it for her last lesson. And she brought me through the grade 5 exam. Now lesson is ex and i stop. i won't say y. cuz it is very expensive. And then i teach drums. I learnt metal drumming then... and teach double pedal techniques. I learnt as i taught. And as i teach, i learn. haha! And so i am stop playing for church cuz i thought i can't play in that context. Well, now i am playing again. Playing for God, you don't need to be good. You need to be true. Ok, i wish we could be more honest to each other. We can be good. But when everything is pointed towards me.. "it all depends on you." !!! I am not God. I won't know what you all want? If only God put someone in my shoe now. I hear a side of building up and a side of toning down! CRAZY! I usually do follow the instruction though... do whatever i want.. and i know it is horrible! Be honest! I still love her. It's hard to put down the things that have been tormenting me. I am quite certain no one will follow the reading till so far.. so it is time to be honest in me. Jiaxing is my name. Hahaha!
I can't love anymore i am hurt. So deep i am not loving. God i need your help to help me love again. Anyone. Terrible.
Okok. I am ok. Everything is fine in me. Pull back the curtain! I can't help it.
Ok to talk of being ok... i have to go back to my drums. You see i started my double pedal at the unmatched slow speed of 30bpm in quaver. still can't control.. and after learning that there are 3 levels to attain in double padling, i achieved the 3rd level of 180.. and today i was requested by Dean to try 200bpm at quaver speed in one leg at a time. I did it! haha! Amazing technique. So i blasted a blast beat. PoWer!
reh evol llits i. Anyway, sorry for anyone who want to read. I really take this place to spill. I really don't wanna affect anyone in anyway, spiritually, physically, emotionally.
Thats all Forks! Hahaha!
Monday, December 01, 2008
It don't have to be this way
Well i came to a conclusion.
All these things don't have to fall this way.
I may be terrible but i can't be terrible forever.
I may feel rejected but i won't if i open myself up and be willing to accept anything.
I may be prayerless but how much prayer for me can change the way i am.
I may be a christian.. but who force me to stay one?
I may not feel God, but why do i need to?
I may not be a great man.. but what's wrong staying a whimp?
Haha! I am terribly in need of a divine hand to pull me out of this quicksand. Haiz.
All these things don't have to fall this way.
I may be terrible but i can't be terrible forever.
I may feel rejected but i won't if i open myself up and be willing to accept anything.
I may be prayerless but how much prayer for me can change the way i am.
I may be a christian.. but who force me to stay one?
I may not feel God, but why do i need to?
I may not be a great man.. but what's wrong staying a whimp?
Haha! I am terribly in need of a divine hand to pull me out of this quicksand. Haiz.
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