D011/1807010

Time: 12pm - 1pm
Dtime: around 11am

Events:
2 series of body paralysis, with 2 sucessful wakefulness.

Questions answered:
1. During body prarlysis the scene is not parallel with reality. It is an imagination.
2. Though it is not parallel, it is similiar. Mostly formed by LTM and also by audio input.
3. Ability to explore the scene merely by touch, then by sound, then by sight. Touch-sound-sight.
4. Dtime is actually clicking a little faster. Estimation of 110bpm.(Oh!!!! That explains WHY IT FEELS LONGER!!!)
5. Images of subject in the mirror has no expression, if not it will be faceless. Suspects that this has to do with the fact that there is a mechanism to protect our ability to distinguish between two worlds.

Events:
Woke up when my granddad trying to wake me up physically. Then i realised i am still asleep. Tats my first chance to explore the FAQs. FAQs by me actually. If it is an imagined scene there seems to be too much order to it.. i almost thought it is real. Princess nora on television? What is that ancient show? Mirror reflects a faceless me. Not scary but.. strange. No one can see me.
Then i was really woken up by grandma for lunch. But i thought 5 more minutes could be spared. Then here comes the 2nd chance, Qn: Can i practice drums? Yes.. i feel my way cautiously from the ride, to the drum throne then to the sticks. Got sound? Yes! Action was smooth. Then i could see myself in a mirror just infront of me. Practice.. yes, i did practice a section of my routine. It seems too real and i thought what would happen if my grandparents could hear drumming while i am actually on my bed? So i decided to throw all the cymbals on the floor creating a havoc. All these questions are answered when i decided to wake up.

SUBSTANDARD!

AM I?
SUBSTANDARD?
I AM SUBSTANDARD!
OH NO!!!!

I NEVER DID REALISE AFTER SO LONG THAT I AM ACTUALLY SUBSTANDARD!

IT IS ALL OVER NOW. I HAVE DONE MY BEST TO END UP AS SUBSTANDARD!


I WILL WATCH MY LIFE FALL.

I CANT BELIEVE IT IS OVER,
I'LL WATCH THE WHOLE THING FALL.

WHERE ARE YOU HARRY?
PERHAPS YOU COULD CARRY ON FROM HERE.
I AM SORRY I LEFT A MESS.

Staying strong

Sometimes i will just sit at one corner and stretch a red rubberband.

Stretch... release...

Stretch... release...

Stretch stretch and it comes back again.

And at other times i will watch as the birdies come into my grandma's house to
steal food.

And other times i will watch the fan spin.

And i realise one thing.

All these things are wires gone astray and short circuit.

School

Starts,
The feeling of a new school is always the same.
Excitement.
Fear.
Lost.
Hopeful.
Even the people seems to be the same!
I was thinking, God, are you trying to tell me something from the group that i need to work with?
I seem to have stepped into another faculty with the same group of people that i met years ago. Feels so familiar. But friendlier of course.

Many students will complain about stress... So why not me?
Work piling u, perc ensemble, mallet sight reading, snare technique, nus wind band, my funk band, chinese band, working as teacher.

To simplify. Too many things too little time.

Well, i am glad my attitude changed. Last time i am really contented with a pass. Now i am going to aim for perfection, which i know is hard(not impossible) to achieve.

And Church, i have been dreaming about it every night. 10 out of 10 nights.
Pastor sarah helping the poor elderlies in my neighbourhood. Problems unspeakable, attitudes unthinkable. All those dreams sum up to one theme,

Change.

Perhaps one more sub theme,

Speak up.

LOL!
Overall experience with school is 11/10.
I blend in well like an o level graduate LOL! Not really. But my wits seems like one, perhaps even inferior to one. LOL! Y degrade yourself?!
Substandard. Tat really hurts.
Perhaps i need to work on my self esteem and i need some time to reflect whether i am looking at myself the way i am made to be, or lesser than what God made me to be.
Perhaps God will be sad to see a creation not satisfied with the potter's perfect plan. Perhaps the clay is really just spinning on the spin table, untouched and perhaps resembles !!!!a piece of shit!!!!
Who knows perhaps the potter is smashing the clay to recreate something weird.

JX!!! Hahaha!
You never say anything positive do you! LOL!!
I really am amused by your words! Brilliant! JX! Brilliant!
It is really fun to see you speak to me after being dormant for a while. Welcome back! Have fun in school!
And remember our agreement.

Salsa

bom pabom... bompa... ... pabom.. bompa... tok tok tok.. Rrrrtatata..pish

I love this couple :)

People

People are hard to handle.
I will never get it..
I will never understand the reason to those thoughts..
But i know it does not matter..

I have seen great things happen before my eyes and i can't deny it is great!

Doubts will always cling on to those who will fear the unknown.

Fear manifest itself in our emotions, actions and tots. Most commonly in the form of nothingness.
Perhaps uneasy silence.

Now i see through it all and i will not pretend that i will know it all(in fact i do not perfectly know everything) , but at least i know much more. Yet the reverse will occur. Confidence which stems from the root of nothingness has dissolved.

The facade that has been removed is replaced by another facade that is even more cunning.

Deceit. LOL!
HAHAHA!!!
A GREAT ACT OF DECEIT that requires a life long commitment.

Perhaps even to the grave. HAHAHA!

Lastly i would like to challenge you with these words.
"The greatest entrophy is elegantly simple"

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Sad movies

There it goes again, another sad movie.

WFD

What is WFD?

WFD stands for World Fastest Drummer!

Since the age of 16 i have been fascinated with speed. Fast!
But i don't like fast food though.
So i have been dreaming i will have a chance to meet the WFD one day.
Or even win in a WFD competition.
It is a sick dream though. But well i think there are much to anticipate from this.
unless i hit 1300... i can continue dreaming on.