Dear Randomness

Hail to Your Randomness!

There have been too many "perhaps" happening in me that i realise it is time to "Realise"

Perhaps will never cross the line to intrude unless Realised.

Realise will never meet anything unknown unless Perhaps speculates.

Rain drops

(as i was staring blankly into the randomness of this uninvited drizzl

No, this is not a typo error. Is there a reason why everything must start and

No, i do not believe so. If everything has the quality to resolves itself to an END, eternity would not

Yes, i have just discovered a secret principle that will revolutionize

Yes, you better learn this now or you might only realise it too late when revolution has happened

No cult here, perhaps it is science, perhaps it is philosophy,

Nothing end.. nothing last.. (at least not on earth) and when there is really only one thing that can end.. it will be time.

if time ends.. and it reverses.. ..sesrever ti dna ..sdne emit fi

.emit eb lliw ti ..dne nac taht gniht eno ylno yllaer si ereht nehw dna (htrae no ton tsael ta) ..tsal gnihton ..dne gnihtoN ( sentences reverse )

Perhaps nothing coherrent will be perceived in the process of time reversal.

What goes UP comes DOWN(with gravity).. what had happened happens.. and it continues to happen..

Just imagine.. if there is a time magnet.. And it pulls time back towards it.. The more time runs away from it.. the stronger it is attracted back to it. Just like when a ball thrown into the air stops, time will stop one day, and i would call it an end. And after which we would be undoing the things that have been done. We would turn younger, walk backwards, spit the water we drunk, cells we grow disseminate into elements, soon enough we become a foetus and we would be a sperm and we were too mere carbon atoms. This is wrong for sure, God can't exist the way i know Him. The dead will rise again.. but they soon will vanish and become mere carbon atoms.

What if this time magnet is situated at the end of the universe where even the first sun ray that existed from the first nuclear explosion have not reached it yet. It is sensible, We cannot grab what is flying towards it... tats all for now.

Let time run. Space will come into play.

Reading buddy

Hey. It is good to find you back reading mate.
I thought i lost you for good since the age of 10 or 12 i cannot remember.
(actually i am talking to the deprived reader inside me)

It was not long before i quit saying i hate reading, there have been a strange urge that prompted me to start reading again.
I started with reading fiction books the past 2 days.. completed 2 rather thick fiction books meant for childen.. they are fascinating! Full of emotions and even lead me to recall many events of my distant past.(perhaps misty recollections of a nerdy childhood life.)

Primary school:

Class 6H
I must say i could have been the strangest guy to have evolved out of this worst off primary class where A is the top class and i am way in A,B,C... H! The second worst class other then I. :) I am very happy in there. One of my teacher's favourite pet.
My teacher Mrs Samuel loves me alot. However I can remember how i was scolded for not cleaning up the toilet when it was my duty.. Honestly i have no idea of what is the meaning of responsibility at that tender age of 11.

Loner
A quiet boy i am, often a loner in school.. but i am happy being alone. Perhaps sometimes i would look for my friend Junwei to play.. whatever.. marbles, catching, inclined pull ups.. and also peiqiang.. however i often heard they went to smoke and once tried smoking in my home toilet when we were suppose to use the cigarette for a science experiment. Of course i didn't want to. I know it is bad for my lungs.

Science geek

I excelled in my science. It must be the countless times i read through my science text book. I like the pictures and always think of toilet when i look at the picture of rafflesia flower and an animated cartoon holding their nose. I can't forget the time when 2 strangers from class 6A come running after me and asked me: "Are you Jiaxing?" I was puzzelled.. cuz i know no one in 6A. Later then did i find out that the whole elite class of 6A were shocked when a lower being in class 6H got 92 for science SA when their best score was only 85. Results were always on parent's lips.. but i never want to compare.

Secondary school:

New friends:

Of course i went to the best class 1E1. By now i have completely evolved into a geek. Loner most of the time. However i am very grateful that there are a few friends who don't find me weird. And like their company too. Well this is when i understood the meaning of true friendship. Wee Siang and Kun Jian are 2 geeks i like to be around with.. LOL! Wee Siang is less of a geek.. perhaps a street smart rich kid down the block who lives in a condo! I always thought people who lives in Condo are rich ppl. We often drop by his condo to play Pool(or billard)!

CCA:

It was CCA day and there were performances after performances held in the hall. Lion dance troops, chinese dance, ELDDS, Choir and finally Band. The band was Big!( at least to me) They played a 3 songs and often my ears would fall to this rain sizzling sound which would buzz my ears. I was alive for a moment. And final song was an errie piece and this buzzing sound ended marked the finale of the song. I could hear my malay friend behind whispering.. "WOW that drum roll sounds like rain sound sia.." .. I was as usual.. calm and steady thinking to myself... " I am going to be like that guy who will play the rain sound."

Choir audition:

There were rumours that entering choir would mean you are a gay... However i wanted to enter because i always wanted to sing well. My music teacher was auditioning and testing our ears and voice. One after the other, kids got selected and some got kicked out for playing a fool. I was very serious.. When it is my turn.. i was dead nervous.. I see my teacher plays up the scale, hit a chord and then press a note.. "sing" she said.. i was stunned.. and i "ahh.." and i know i was producing the same sound i hear.. After a few tries.. i was rejected.. My friends were clapping.. "WOW you acted so well, you sang totally out of tune! How did you do that!".. Man i must say thats the saddest day of my life.

Band audition:

Still having high hope for being the guy to play the rain sound. I went for Band audition with a rowdy friend called Frankie. We are total contrast.. however he is very nice to be around with and he didn't mind me being too quiet.. Or i thought he didn't mind. I am very grateful. To cut the story short.. i really couldn't play any wind instrument or brass instrument and thats why i was given a pair of sticks.. I could feel a sense of awe as i hold the stick.. "WOW!"

I can't remember any audition.. i just knew i am in. I am among the drum sticks people!

Slowly i met the guy who made the rain sound which i learnt is the snare drum roll. And i watched Kwan Hwee, Zhi wei, Alvin mess around with the drumset, Fiona seldom appear. I learnt how to hit using my wrist. I played the snare drum for the whole year. And i picked up a jazz drumset piece "Rock around the clock" terribly hard and i wanted to quit band.. only to know that Mr Tan do not allow it to happen. "You stay for a while longer first.."

Well, i stayed a while and it was 4 years before i realise how much i learnt. I was still playing the snare drum mainly. Perhaps a few triangles, suspended cymbal and crash cymbal. To me, Kwan Hwee and Zhi wei were the Masters of drums.. I always see their flying sticks and paradiddles and uncountable speed. Alvin would play the drumset and i would sit behind to watch and imagine myself doing it. Well, i never got to do it until late sec 3. And i often blame the seniors for not teaching when i couldn't play a drumset piece... the fact is.. i didn't learn well. I was taking over many snare parts and crashes and toms and drumset when seniors graduate. Never did i touch the mallet, but only when keeping instruments.. i "touched" them. LOL! I remember i was replaced by a Thailand instructor for a drumset part... i was sad, yet relief.. Ms Tan, the conductor must be thinking i hate her for that.. but no i don't.. i know i am not competent enough for that piece of music and i am glad she found an instructor to teach me and replace me.

I found out later that the piece with the snare roll (rain sound) was Chant Rituals and indeed i became the guy to make the rain sound! LOL!